Philosophy By Grandmaster Henry Sue

An important role of every human being is to help others. So how do you do this?

How do you help people who are not looking after themselves?

How do you help people who are not happy with the way things are going in their lives and want to change, but don’t know where to start?

Well, there is a good chance at some time in your lives that you are going to come across an under privileged child, troubled teen or an adult that has just lost his way, and in your eyes is in some desperate need of help or guidance.

But what if they don’t want your help or guidance?

What if they are just happy doing what they are doing and don’t care what you think, or anyone else for that matter?

But in your eyes, you can’t help but think “What is he doing? He can’t seriously be happy with his life. He has no sense of responsibility, no hygiene, no work ethic. He doesn’t care about himself or anyone else for that matter. Surely I should give this person some advice and point them in the right direction”.

Now, here is your first lesson and it is very important that you understand and know the following rule;

 

No one can change another person unless they want to change first. This is the first and most important rule of all.

See, you may ask a person ‘Why are you behaving like this’ and more often than not they will say: ‘I am doing fine, why? It’s none of your business the way I live my life, I am happy with my life, get lost’.

So you see, you can’t really help someone if they don’t reach out first and are willing to change. So forget about people who do not want your help. You cannot help them. You cannot help the whole world. But when you see someone who is lost and he comes to you for help, then it is your duty to help him. He might ask ‘What can I do?’ or ‘Where can I go?’ Now that is a start. When this happens you should then find the time to sit down with them.

Sometimes people in need go to a church group, a social worker, or a philosopher. Other times they might approach a friend, or someone they can trust, and one day that person they approach might be you.

So how can you help someone that desperately wants your help?

Now the way you can help a person is to ask “what do you want out of life? Why are you not happy?” They normally do not know themselves, so you can start to help them by pointing out their strong points and show them how they can use these to achieve something. They need confidence and a stimulant. Some people take medicine or drugs to get a stimulant. But the stimulant you are going to give them is a purpose in life.

You need to establish their abilities for them and then help them make a goal and advise them on how to get started, and then encourage them to work hard for this.

Let’s use an adult for example that has just gone through a bad divorce and has had to sell the family home. Let say they have $20,000 after getting rid of all their debt. The first step would be to talk to a financial adviser to see if he can get a loan. When they have a loan then they can buy an old house for instance. They can then do this house up and sell it for a higher price. After selling it they get rid of their debt and the surplus builds and so does their starting capital.

Straight away this person will have a stimulant. ‘Now I can be someone. Now I have a purpose. Wow, I can do this’. But what if no one wants to lend him the money? With just $20,000 dollars he cannot do a lot. He can only buy a car for instance. Well, then you can stand up for him and tell people that he is a hard worker or something else that is true and supports him. Or you can find a friend who is willing to lend him the money. Maybe you can do it yourself. But what if he says that he does not have the money to fix this house. Well, you could draw him a plan and explain to him how he can use his earnings for this. Finally he gets hope and he sees a way to get out of his mess. It is important to remember that when you give someone a goal, make it an achievable goal, a possibility, not something he can never achieve.

Help them make the first step

A street kid who walks in off the street and sees you for the first time may not have a lot of self worth. He may say ‘I am not worth anything. I am a piece of garbage’. So self worth is the first thing he needs. There is nothing worse than blaming people for being lazy and calling them ‘rubbish’ when they come to you for help.

Let’s now assume this street kid is a young child that is a bed wetter and this child has been mentally abused, put down and called names for his bed wetting. What usually happens is the child will start to believe he is useless and no good. So, he will begin to think ‘Well everyone thinks I am a bed wetter, so I might just as well wet the bed’. Same thing when you call someone lazy. You have branded them. If you want to help someone, don’t brand them. Say “No you are not rubbish. You are not lazy, you are special and just need to find who you really are and what you want out of life”.

You must help them, if you do not help them they will turn into rubbish.

You can explain to them that they call man a divine animal. Why divine? Well all animals hunt and kill for food, some even save for the winter. But only for one winter, never two. That’s where man is different. He can plan for the future. In other words he has vision and can think ahead. Man can plan his future and see the end result. They have 2, 5 or 10 year plans and more and work towards the achievement of those plans. Animals can’t do this, they don’t have plans or think about the future. They do not have vision or imagination. Human beings have imagination. They can see what is good and can make it even better because they can think ahead.

Humans want to be good and better than they are. That’s human nature. They want to improve, they want perfection. Humans want to be something that separates them from all the other animals. They have dreams, animals don’t have dreams. Humans can make things happen. When they have an idea, they can make it happen and turn it into something beautiful. So when someone comes to you for help, you have to explain to him this difference. So that he clearly understands the difference between a human being and another living animal. So that he starts to respect himself as a human being before he even starts to do something.

So if you are lazy, sleep and get fat, you are worse than an ant. Even an ant works hard and can plan ahead for one year, and store food so that they don’t go hungry. Ants are constructive and look after each other, they work as a team. These animals respect themselves and each other in their own way and can make things happen, but only for a very short time. Human beings are different, they can plan a long time ahead. So you must make him understand how important he is as a human being. So you have to show them what human beings can do, how ‘high they can reach’ and what they can achieve. You must make them understand that they should start to behave as a proper human being.

But how do they become a proper human being?

They’ve got to have dreams. They must know what they want to do. Ask them “How do you see yourself a year from now? What do you want to have? What do you want to do? What do you want to look like?” Start with the end first. Even the ant does that. He stores his food so that he is still alive at the end of the winter. But you have to be better than that remember.

Don’t make your goal too big. Think of something small, like a bicycle, instead of something big, like a car, for instance. First of all you have to work but no one likes to work for no purpose at all. If you want a bike than you have something worthwhile to work for. Then you go to work and save your money for a nice bike. You may not like the work, but you like the bike. Then when you have the bike you might want to have some nice clothes. But before you can wear some nice clothes you must have good hygiene. You have to clean yourself up first. After all, what good is it if you have nice clothes and you are dirty and filthy? Remember you are a human being. Cleanliness is important. And after you’re clean and start wearing your new clothes, you need good manner. Even a dog has good manner.

Bad and evil dogs are locked up or put down. Everyone wants to own a good dog, an obedient dog, a well-trained and disciplined dog. In other words, a dog that behaves. So you must discipline yourself to present yourself as a proper human being, this means having good hygiene, good manners and self-respect.

Once you have these attributes you can start earning money. You can go to every work site and look for a job and ask in confidence “Do you have work for me? I’ll pick up the rubbish for you if I have to. I’ll work hard” and when you start to think “Why am I picking up rubbish for, this is degrading” remind yourself of that beautiful bike or those fancy clothes that will help you get a better job or make you feel better about yourself.

Remember don’t set too big a goal

If you set too big a goal you can quickly start to lose confidence. Don’t tell them how to buy things or get things, but show and tell them how to be a self-respecting human being first. ‘With all the qualities you have, you stand a good chance of getting the job’. When they come to realise this, all you have to do is to remind them every now and then, they are on their way already. But first of all they have to come to you and show a willingness to listen. Remember, if they don’t come to you first and ask for help you cannot help them. They have to reach out. They have to want to be helped.

All animals contribute something to this world, even the dung beetle. He cleans up cow dung. He is useful in his own way. So if you just lie around and do nothing, you are worse than a dung beetle. At least he contributes to cleaning up the universe. So you have to contribute something of value and not just lie around and rely upon someone else. If a human being does have respect for himself and others, and has no self-discipline, a human being is very dangerous.

A human being is the most dangerous thing in this universe

Normal animals only eat to survive, but human beings can kill thousands of people just for their own glory, their own greed, or their own self-centred thought. Or they kill more than they need so they can sell it for profit, just to get rich. Human beings can be the cruelest things there are in the world.

If a human being doesn’t put religion, goodness, and respect in himself he can be the worst animal. Human beings can be divine or extremely dangerous, depending on their beliefs and the way they think. That’s why it is good that there is religion, no matter what religion. Because religion teaches us to focus on goodness. Human beings without the right beliefs become evil and destructive. Just think of the World Trade Centre or the tragedy in Port Arthur, Tasmania, where a lot of people were killed for no real reason.

So it is important that each one of us has a mission. What sort of mission is that? The mission of goodness and the willingness to help people. Everyone minute that you help someone, no matter what religion you are in, you are doing the ‘Godly’ work. You are doing something nice. You are doing something good. You are working for the common good, a better world for every one. Helping someone brings a lot of joy. Every time you help someone, you are in fact helping yourself become a better person. Every time you ‘light a candle’ you create a brighter path for everyone to walk in. Helping someone is like lighting a candle. Maybe whilst lighting a light one day, your light might blow out. Then someone else may come along and say ‘here’s my light’ or and re-light yours. It’s about helping one another, making a better world.

Why do you think some people who help a lot of others have such an aura around them? Because they make a better place for everyone and this makes them happy. You will be amazed how happy you will by doing these things.

So to recap:

1. To help someone he has to come to you first. Don’t make fun of him or let him down. Because in doing so you may make it worse and destroy another human being. They might end up saying “I did ask for help, and what did I get? A knock back. I got rejected. See, I am right after all, there are no good people in this world’. If you help a person, that person may help thousands. I am not talking about religion, I am talking about respect.

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